The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
