I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
