she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
