So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
