if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
