She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
