Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
