I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
