who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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