So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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