please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
