He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
