I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
