he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
