I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
