Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
