I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
a search helicopter?!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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