its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
