He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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