am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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