i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
