One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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