My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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