"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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