1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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