Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize