I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
