just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
