If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
