He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
