just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
