I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
