woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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