I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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