As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
