Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
