Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
