Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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