He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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