all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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