You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
