her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
