And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
