Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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