If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
