I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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