I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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