I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
