Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
