U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
