i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
